Expectations are everything. When you first meet someone, you expect to like them, to like them a lot, and to like them for a long time. But due to the complexity of human nature, it’s quite possible to fall prey to the idea that someone is “just not that into you.” And because your mind’s eye is always looking for the worst-case scenario, you can develop a habit of being constantly on guard, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
In a perfect world, everyone would have a partner who lived up to your expectations of them, who was exactly what you thought they should be. We try so hard to find this perfect partner. It’s a process to get there. But what happens when you meet a person who does not fit your idea of what they should be? What if someone falls short of your expectations, and your relationship with them is based upon being unfair?
How do expectations ruin one’s relationship?
Most relationships are based on mutual trust and respect, but what happens when one or both parties expect the other to meet their expectations, and their expectations are not mutual?
When two people’s expectations for a relationship are too high to a point where a person can’t meet those expectations, a relationship can suffer. In fact, you’re probably already experiencing this in your own life. And it’s not always a bad thing. But you need to learn to recognize the signs, so you’re not blinded by your own expectations.
If you expect your significant other to pay attention to you, be there for you, and to love you, then break-ups are a lot easier to deal with. But, if you don’t expect these things from your significant other, you can make a relationship work.
What are the expectations that may harm a relationship?
Expectations in relationships are tricky things, and they can wreak havoc on a relationship when they’re not managed properly. After all, when you’re in a relationship with someone, you’ve likely given them a lot of power over the way you live your life—and this can really mess things up when expectations don’t line up instead of aligning.
Here are expectations that may harm your relationship:
- You will just know that you have met the right person. Have you ever known someone who just knew you would be the perfect person for them, and yet, you got rejected? Have you been able to pinpoint the exact moment you knew you were right for them, but they decided you weren’t? Or was it all a complete surprise? In any case, it’s hard to be hurt by something you expected would happen but never did.
- You expect someone to feel the same way about you as you do about them. Relationships are supposed to be about sharing experiences, so we’re not sure why you would expect someone to feel the same way about you as you do about them. If you want to feel loved, you’ll have to show it, not just hope it. And if you want to feel comfortable around others, you’ll have to be open to their needs and listen to what they say. At the end of the day, though, the only real way to find out whether you’re making progress in your relationship is to be honest with yourself.
- Having the right relationship will make oneself happy. Relationships aren’t perfect, and we certainly don’t agree on everything. Still, the fact that we don’t completely agree about everything is an important part of what makes us interesting and unique as a couple. More than anything, we want to be with people who understand and enjoy the same things we do.
We all want to be in love but getting there requires maintaining high expectations for many. The problem is, almost all of us are set up for failure if we expect the person we love to act in a certain way. So, what’s the best way to go about it? The key to a good relationship is to have the right expectations! Our expectations are often what ruin relationships. So, if you are looking for a relationship based on being treated well, you need to follow the right expectations.
Love is the ultimate goal of every relationship, but it also has its challenges. Think about it. You can’t love someone you don’t know. You can’t love someone you don’t trust. And you can’t love someone who doesn’t care about you. But if you can get past these problems, you can build a relationship that will last a lifetime.